I was on 'only' in a

                 communityof large families, but despite the  comments of nuns and others lamenting my presumed loneliness (and attacking my presumed 'spoiled' state), I never had any illusions that either way was better. As I grew up, however, I came to see the damage rampant in those families that, through choice or circumstance, did not complete their families with just one child. I saw siblings pitted against one another in dealing with aging parents and eventual inheritances; I saw my mother-in-law, one of seven, dealing with coalitions during whatever permutation of sibling estrangement was going on that week; I saw single cousins closing ranks and giving grief to a younger sibling who dared marry in her mid-thirties; I saw my sister-in-law, who was adopted so my husband not be a 'lonely only,' tear her family apart through her irresponsible and destructive behavior. Based on this, my husband and I are choose to opt out of any such sibling drama for our daughter. I suppose there are plenty of 'Brady Bunch'-type idylls out there, but in our experience they are just that—fiction.

Eve United States